I think my husband hates me & the kids!?

My husband and I have been married for 14 years and have 4 children. We have a very hectic and busy life. He works weekend night shift and I work weekdays. We do not have a babysitter because we are available to watch our own kids. However, my husband has become very hostile, very very depressed (but refuses to take his medication) and unsociable toward myself and the kids. I know that he often feels stuck because he "doesn't have a life" anymore! I totally understand that he wants to get out of the house every now and then. He does get occasional time to leave because my parents are very helpful when available. But, he says that he doesn't like to ask my mom because she tells him to take care of whatever he has to do quickly and come home" he says that he just wants a whole day to himself without the kids. I try to explain to him that my mother has a life as well, afterall, she raised 8 children. So, I think that now is her time and my Dad's! By the way, my husband's mother never offers to watch or keep our kids but some how I play hell from him when my parents are unavailable. I have even offered to put them in daycare throughout the day but he says that we are already broke. He often complains about my job because it "doesn't pay enough" but I love my job, it's local near home and the childrens' school, the people I work with are wonderful, and my boss is extremely understanding. Plus, where would I find a bigger and better paying job since everyone else in America seem to be losing theirs? I believe that he is very angry with me because I had a wonderful plan to become a registered nurse, but in my second year of school I failed the program but one mere point!! Ugh! I was so discouraged, saddened, and mad. I felt that I had waisted three years of my life on absolutely NOTHING! We are always broke and I am scared to tell him how much is left in the bank after all the bills are paid. He gives me such a hard time about it. I know that he loves me but sometimes I believe that there is a lot of regret on his part becoming a husband and father. However, I love my husband dearly and my children with all that I have. We have a pretty good life and I am always optimistic about life. He on the other hand is very pessimistic. I try to make him understand that there are other people that are much worse off then us. I am thankful for my health, my childrens' health, a roof over our head, a job, a car, and so much more! I am just mentally tired, I love him so much but I feel like I can't hold the home together much more by myself. I need my husband, companion, and soul mate back in my life. Please help!